the siren song

so it is 3 am

and again my doubts sing their siren songs

songs of my failures

of other’s successes

of giving up and giving in

and these words rush into my ears

racing to see who can win and push me farther away from my goals

can push me to the brink

to the very edge

but they will not be satisfied

i turn away

and like Odysseus tie myself to the mast

and r e s i s t the empty temptations

life

with a flash, it’s gone

and you’re left wondering

what all the fuss was about

then you remember

you lived

and

living is a gift in itself

Goals.

I begin.

My shoes are untied.

I stop.

I begin.

The gun misfired.

I stop.

I begin.

the sky turns gray and water spills.

I stop.

I begin.

That fear of failure grips my chest.

I stop.

I begin.

I ask, “What’s the point? Why am I doing this?”

I stop.

I begin.

Everyone is staring at me,

eyes measure my worth,

sweat beads on my forehead and-

-I run without stopping.

IRIS

eyes say so much.

what do mine say?

do they say that I am weak

or that I am strong?

do they say that I am ignorant

or that I am wise?

do they say that I am a hero

or that I am a bystander?

I wonder,

if someone stared in my eyes,

could they see

all the things

i bury inside.

outside

I clutch an umbrella in my hands,

my makeshift shield against

the light

that is too bright

the dark

that is too silent

and the sound

that is too empty.

the need to protect myself is strong.

there is too much out there.

I’ve seen

pain

heartbreak

betrayal

I need

to be strong